The Chair is pleased to announce that it has discovered Process Zero, which allows photographers to process pictures without the use of Artificial Stupidity (A.I.). We applaud this development (no pun) and you will see this set of operating parameters being implemented in items featured on fromacomfychair.

How is that even possible?

The Washington Post makes the claim that We may have even less control over how long we live than previously thought.

Presuming, of course, that we ever thought we had any control over how long we live. Personally, I don't think I ever had any. As I note in one of my stand-up routines, 'I take poor care of my health–poor diet, no exercise, ignore the doctor. Now my friend Mike, who's about the same age as me, he's a fanatic. Runs miles and miles a day, drinks green smoothies and lots of water, and constantly monitors vital signs. You know what? We're both going to die! And Mike has no more idea about when that's going to be than I do. Although if Mike doesn't give all this 'healthy living' yammering a rest, his death may be a lot sooner than he expects, 'cuz someone's gonna kill him.'

Whatever is happening to war?

There are whole TV shows devoted to the efforts the Allies made during World War II to keep military plans and operations secret, particularly D-Day.

Now, the United States is announcing planned operations days in advance. As strategies go, I think it's questionable. But what do I know? Brilliant military minds are in charge, right?

'Fessing up.

The Wall Street Journal's culture page recently ran one of those 'lists' articles, this one entitled Thrillers and Dramas and Musicals, Oh My!, a list of the19 most influential movies.

I'm not going to eviscerate the list, and wonder why the misogynistic tree toads who made up the list included no Audrey Hepburn films. No, I'm going to reveal that I am defective as a human being, not having seen 7 of the 19 (and really, would it kill them to have made it twenty, or some other even number?) movies on the list, or slightly over a third of the films. More interestingly, many of the 7 unwatched films also find their way to various 'greatest films of all time' listings.

Oh, I've had chances to watch. They show up regularly on movie channels and streaming services, but I now take cantankerous pride in not having seen films like The Godfather or It's a Wonderful Life.

But that's not all! We are nothing if not ambitious when trying to get to the word count, so we decided to see if we could ferret out some sort of thread that ties all these movies together.

In very general terms, the main themes that seem to bind the twelve I've seen include strong friendships/family, passion, and a dedication to a cause. And in a couple of cases, I'm stretching the definitions. Such is life. You may find different threads. If you do, tell the ferret, not me.

No, no, no!

In spite of evidence to the contrary in the previous piece, it is not one of my goals to write an entire article as a series of asides. Although now that I think of it, maybe...

Caught poaching.

USA Today crosses into Popular Mechanics territory with Would we see it coming? 'City killer' asteroids could shock scientists.

To say nothing of the residents of the cities the asteroids are killing.

Welcome to the game, AP!

The Associated Press, new to these speculative, click-bait headlines that have no answer, connects two odd dots: As Trump orders UFO data released, a question hangs: If aliens exist, what would they think of us?

Oh, come on, what is this, middle school? Is that what's important? Not technology, or are they friendly? Do they care? Do they even know we exist? They could as easily be here to chat with their friends the sea mammals. 'Dolphins never chased us through the sky!' they might think.

And to the Trump connection: I hope the UFO data release is more organized than the Epstein file release was.

Strangeness upon strangeness.

From a second-hand headline: NASA has discovered a nearby Earth-like exoplanet using the James Webb telescope, but it rains lava at night.

While one responder questions how this lava-spewing, egg-shaped planet is even remotely 'Earth-like,' I have a couple of questions/observations of my own:

1. Does it have permission to use the James Webb telescope? Is there a usage fee charged or something?
2. I really hope it's cleaning up the lava rain in the morning. We don't want the telescope damaged and we're tired of having to clean up after thoughtless tourists.

How Anthropic can really make money.

Anthropic, the developer of Claude, a leading artificial intelligence program, recently had an oopsie when it mistakenly released much of the source code for the program.

A spokesman for the company said, This was a release packaging issue caused by human error, not a security breach. We're rolling out measures to prevent this from happening again.

Oh, man, I can't tell you how many times I've been responsible for human error oopsie releases. If Anthropic could package those preventive measures for consumer use, formerly known as end users, I would happily pay to prevent those errors from happening to me ever again.

Frustration.

I have no idea what to do with this exchange that just popped into my head:

Me: Back in the middle of the Carter Administration, when I was making my first film...
Mike: Really? You made a film?
Me: No, you moron, back then I was chasing skirts and running counterfeit Cabbage Patch Kids dolls across the Mexican border like any self-respecting American male!
Mike: So what was your movie about?

Mental dexterity.

a rhyming game.

There are at least 30 words that rhyme with 'soul.' These include in no particular order (OK, alphabetical mostly)

So many rhymes, so few that would pair nicely with soul in the development of meaning and message.

Ah, the trials and travails of the poet.